Wednesday, March 2, 2011

first world problems

I really, really love how I make money. I've got a job that lets me earn a wage in the middle of the night, in my pajamas, in my own home that does not require me to suck random Craigslist dick or operate a pirate radio station. That being said, my life has changed considerably and that's making problems.

It used to be that someone would say, "I know you have material, write something about [mutual masturbation/ball gags/threesomes] and get it to me by tomorrow!" and that was no problem because well, I do know about mutual masturbation, ball gags and threesomes. The issue is that The Boy doesn't.

I got a great one. Fantastic, really, because he is so sweet and while sweet suits me, it doesn't really suit my livelihood. I don't fancy keeping secrets, but I also don't want to throw all of that in his face. For me, remembering the things I need to write about is like watching a video of someone else's life. For him, it's like I invited my old boyfriends into our bedroom (or our shower or our living room floor or on his mother's Shabbos table).

See, even that I shouldn't have said, but not saying things like that doesn't make good reading and that doesn't make good money. To keep my cute boy safe, I have been turning down jobs right and left and stopped playing with this blog all together, but that makes almost as many problems as the alternative. So what to do? Maybe it's time to start working as a lawyer or accountant or some other innocuous occupation. Anyone hiring?

1 comment:

  1. Gosh. I'd really love to read this stuff that you write for a living.