nameless, faceless

I've never heard of the Kallah Package. I always s...

2009-11-10T16:03:28.856-05:00

I've never heard of the Kallah Package. I always see dishes and crockpots.

if e and all his siblings are "accidents", how doe...

2009-11-09T19:19:25.727-05:00

if e and all his siblings are "accidents", how does that explain the THOUSANDS of religious families who have child after child after child?
as far as i know, most women are most fertile the night of the mikvah visit.
however, some women have a different cycle, causing halachic infertility - check out this post
http://curiousjew.blogspot.com/2009/11/yoetzet-halacha-is-awesome.html

E and that other Anonymous, Accidents do happen, ...

2009-11-09T12:24:11.959-05:00

E and that other Anonymous,

Accidents do happen, and you E are an example for which the world is richer. But if you even look at the same Wiki article and bother to read some of the relevant physiology - which I have - you'll realize that I was correct. Prime time for fertilization is a bit before the beginning of the "clean" days. The fertility clinic my wife and I are working with recommends seven to ten days in specifically so that the sperm will catch the egg. Much after that and the chances of conception are very low.

a simpler proof that Friday's anon is full of shit...

2009-11-08T19:17:10.908-05:00

a simpler proof that Friday's anon is full of shit:

My mother managed to conceive me and seven others during the "clean half of the month" without a platoon of Marines on Clomiphene.

You're crazy. There's no such thing as a kallah pa...

2009-11-08T16:11:59.719-05:00

You're crazy. There's no such thing as a kallah package. That's as legit as the hole in the sheet.

I think its strictly a Sephardi thing as rfar as i...

2009-11-08T09:02:06.195-05:00

I think its strictly a Sephardi thing as rfar as i know.

You are full of shit. Read "http://en.wikipedia.o...

2009-11-08T02:51:03.852-05:00

You are full of shit.

Read "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ovulation"

Notice how a while after menstruation ends, ovulation begins?

That's when the nidda state ends, bitch.

never head of it; couldn't imagine it (was raised ...

2009-11-08T00:28:39.310-05:00

never head of it; couldn't imagine it (was raised MO, part-time). I would do it just to see my grandmother blush. lol. i love my bub.

I know physical reality and halachic reasoning hav...

2009-11-06T00:00:00.240-05:00

I know physical reality and halachic reasoning have the thin end of nothing whittled down to a point to do with each other. And obedience to authority always trumps the truth. But if a woman's cycle is even slightly regular sex during the "clean" times is almost always wasted. A platoon of Marines on Clomiphene couldn't knock up a typical lady half of the month. The egg just isn't there.

So oral or *gasp* anal intercourse usually doesn't waste seed any more than "Tab A, Slot B" does.

Anonymous: you are incorrect about where the ejacu...

2009-11-05T09:19:16.136-05:00

Anonymous: you are incorrect about where the ejaculate much go -- if you are actually interested in the halacha as opposed to your old wives tales:

Ramo Even Ha’ezer 25:2:
הגה: ויכול לעשות עם אשתו מה שירצה, בועל בכל עת שירצה ומנשק בכל אבר
שירצה, ובא עליה בין כדרכה בין שלא כדרכה, או דרך אברים ובלבד שלא יוציא
זרע לבטלה (טור). ויש מקילין ואומרים שמותר שלא כדרכה אפילו אם הוציא
זרע, אם עושה באקראי ואינו רגיל בכך (גם זה טור בשם ר”י). ואע”פ שמותר
בכל אלה, כל המקדש עצמו במותר לו קדוש יאמרו לו (דברי הרב).

I never heard of a Kallah package in my life! My f...

2009-11-04T19:06:52.875-05:00

I never heard of a Kallah package in my life! My friends and I went shopping for our own sexy stuff when we got married. Not a snowball's chance in hell my mother in law is going to lay her eyes on my stash!

Maidel: I first heard about the kallah package fro...

2009-11-04T07:00:14.276-05:00

Maidel: I first heard about the kallah package from when Babysitter mentioned it on her status. And shes not that modern. Actually, what makes it funnier now is that she was saying how she would probably be getting it from her grandparents!

you only see lingerie gifts from 'modern' cousins....

2009-11-04T00:22:16.241-05:00

you only see lingerie gifts from 'modern' cousins...

I've heard of Kallah packages, lingerie showers, a...

2009-11-03T22:47:58.219-05:00

I've heard of Kallah packages, lingerie showers, and petitions in Saudi Arabia for letting women work in lingerie stores.

There is nothing more uncomfortable than a woman that, like you said, has no business dressing me for sex, buying me undies.

Hence why I keep all my garters, thongs, g-strings, fishnets, vinyl, corsets and other fun stuff in my top drawer. Hehe!

Hey funny you tagged both of us. We've been a bit ...

2009-11-03T21:02:35.632-05:00

Hey funny you tagged both of us. We've been a bit busy...

I never heard of a kallah package. I mean when one...

2009-11-03T20:59:12.985-05:00

I never heard of a kallah package. I mean when one friend got married another friend and I got her a very cute little nightie thing from Victoria's Secret but I thought it wasn't a very Jewish thing to do...

This was great !!!!! You go nameless faceless!!! I...

2009-11-03T17:40:18.455-05:00

This was great !!!!! You go nameless faceless!!! I was told in my raunchier days that the Jewesses gave the best head and that they always swallowed ... so as not to spill the speed.... I guess those were frummy wanna be s. Every bit of what you said was true and valueable !!!

Anonymous: Obviously you print this out and stick ...

2009-11-03T13:33:13.084-05:00

Anonymous: Obviously you print this out and stick it on the fridge. Or "accidently" text it to her. Or stick it in the pages of the book shes reading.

this one kinda made me throw up a little bit in my...

2009-11-03T13:25:16.703-05:00

this one kinda made me throw up a little bit in my mouth. guess i gotta work on that gag reflex.

I'm not sure if bringing tefillin makes it premedi...

2009-11-02T19:58:21.403-05:00

I'm not sure if bringing tefillin makes it premeditated anymore then a guy bringing condoms on a date makes him "expecting sex". Be prepared!

I'm not sure if bringing tefillin on a date makes ...

2009-11-02T19:55:13.139-05:00

I'm not sure if bringing tefillin on a date makes it premeditated or just cautious of the possibilities... kind of like bringing condoms on date. Be prepared.

Your mental method mentioned in tip/trick #3 remin...

2009-11-01T11:30:41.222-05:00

Your mental method mentioned in tip/trick #3
reminds me of the old Britishism, 'think of England'. Strange? But personally, I preferred the bit you posted in a recent blog about the 'immediate' response inspired (no joke intended) by doing a 'grasping' maneuver with your vg.

well said, but how do i get my wife to read this?

2009-10-29T09:50:15.484-04:00

well said, but how do i get my wife to read this?

Good advice, every bit of it. Guys, some of the o...

2009-10-29T01:08:51.755-04:00

Good advice, every bit of it.

Guys, some of the old wives' tales are true. Cut out the fatty foods, the smoking, the caffeine and a lot of the meat. Drink lots of pineapple juice. Your yo-ho-ho will taste a lot better.

Okay here's my good comment: I agree with this, a...

2009-10-28T19:28:25.592-04:00

Okay here's my good comment:

I agree with this, and it's very dirty but very blatantly true.

Go nameless! Woo!